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Church Humor

Your browser does not support the audio tag. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ENJOY A LITTLE CHURCH HUMOR. A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single...

God's Handy Little Chart

Your browser does not support the audio tag. HANDY LITTLE CHART - GOD HAS A POSITIVE ANSWER: YOU SAY GOD SAYS BIBLE VERSES You say: 'It's impossible' God says: All things are possible ( Luke 18:27) You say: 'I'm too tired' God...

American Flag Afghan

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   Flag is about 36X 60 inches. Materials list: 20 ounces of white 16 ounces of red 12 ounces of blue 4 ounces gold knitting worsted weight yarn crochet hook size F (I used a G to make...

Broken Arrow Jacket

  Your browser does not support the audio tag.     This pattern was given to me by my friend Karen. Thanks Karen BROKEN ARROW JACKET FOR SIZE 20-22 You can make this in ...

Coasters

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   Coasters by Cindi     Coaster Holder By Sonja   COASTERS AND HOLDER               ...

Crocheted Baby Set (Shell Stitch) With Matching Afghan and Bloomers

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Here is a dainty little outfit for a precious little one, You will need 3 ounces baby yarn and a size 6 or (G) hook or size needed to work to gauge given below. Abbreviations: st (stitch) lp (loop)...

Easy Slipper Boot

  Today I have for you  this wonderful slipper boot, so easy and beautiful to make. Using a K, hook, ch 21, sc in each sc across,  Do 24 rows of sc fasten off. CUFF Ch 21, working in back loop only...

Kitchen Towel Topper and Knitted Dish Cloth

Your browser does not support the audio tag.    Materials List: 1 skein of lilly's sugar and cream 100% cotton yarn 1 pr. 10 knitting needles Cast on 4 sts Row 1: Knit ea. st. Row 2: k 2,yo,k to end repeat row 2...

Knitted Baby Boy Outfit

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Materials List: 3 ounces of baby yarn in white 2 ounces of blue or color of your choice 1 Pair each of numbers 1 and 3 knitting needles 2 small buttons. The directions...

Knitted Infant Work Socks

Your browser does not support the audio tag. For the newborn Materials:1 Oz. baby yarn white small amt. of pink, blue, or yellow #1 standard knitting needles 1 1/2"= 16 rows in ribbing 1 1/4"=14 rows in stockinette stitch...

Knitted Slippers

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   Materials list: 1 skein worsted weight yarn (4 oz. or 2 -3 1/2 oz skeins) 1 Pr # 9 knitting needles Using 2 strands of yarn held together (one from each end of skein ). leaving an 18" tail, cast...

Mr. and Mrs. Mouse

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Such a charming couple.  Mr. and Mrs. Mouse are crocheted of 4 ply worsted weight yarn; Mrs. Mouse's frock is sewn. Each measures about 14 inches tall. To make the pair, you will need...

Muslin or flannel Fitted Crib Sheet

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   SIZE: 36X62 Place a rectangular piece of card board ( 5X 7 1/2 ) in each corner and pencil around it. 7 1/2 inches from the end and 5 inches from the width. Cut rectangles out...

Navajo Indian Afghan Jacket

Your browser does not support the audio tag.     I have had so many requests  to make this pattern easier that I have worked out the pattern below:   Navajo Indian Afghan Jacket Materials list: Dark Blue ...

Navajo Indian Multi-Colored Afghan

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Best yarn is Red Heart 4-ply black,red,gray and white but you can make up your own combinations. You will need: 8 oz. black 12 oz. red 12 oz. gray 12 oz. white for an afghan approx. 60x48 If you...

Petite Lacy Basket

Your browser does not support the audio tag. EASY Crochet a petite lacy basket to hold  small gifts or treasures. Weave a colored ribbon, begetting the ocassion, around its top.  Ours measures 3 1/2 x 4 inches. You will...

Plastic Canvas Calendar Pattern

Your browser does not support the audio tag.     PLASTIC CANVAS CALENDAR INSTRUCTIONS Materials: 2 sheets of white or cream colored plastic canvas size 7 mesh   2 sheets of colored of your choice.  size...

Plastic Canvas Layered Cross and Pin

Your browser does not support the audio tag.     MATERIALS: FOR LAYERED CROSS: 2 SHEETS 7 MESH PLASTIC CANVAS PLASTIC CANVAS NEEDLE WHITE YARN COLORED YARN OF YOUR CHOICE 1/4 IN WIDE RIBBON...

Poodle Soap Cover

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Materials List:   1 oz. (approx) white 4 ply yarn   G hook   Small amount of stuffing   2 tiny wiggle eyes   Ch 2, 12 dc in second...

Prize Winning Chain Afghan

Your browser does not support the audio tag. SIZE 50X64 MATERIALS LIST: 35 oz. 4-ply yarn size I Hook 13 one-inch safety pins GAUGE: 6 dcs=2",2 rows=1" NOTE: In last 2 rows, ch 6 (not 10 for loops). ROW 1: ch 252, sc in first...

Rainbow Afghan Pattern

Rainbow Afghan Pattern NOTE I finally found the original pattern and it is correct as printed here AVERAGE: For those with some experience Directions  are given for an afghan measuring 48" wide x 64" long  MATERIALS:  Any...

Shells and Chains Afghan

Your browser does not support the audio tag. This pattern is reproduced here with premission from the publisher of The Workbasket Easy This afghan is a series of shells and chains worked...

Stay On Booties

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Easy Knit a pair of booties that will stay on baby's feet. You will need 1 ounce baby yarn, a size 5 steel crochet hook and either number 3 or 4 standard knitting needles.  Contrasting...

The Cross in my pocket

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Materials yarn needle small amounts of verious colored yarns scraps of 7 mesh plastic canvas cross in my pocket poem (see below)                 ...

A Memo From God

Your browser does not support the audio tag. To: YOU   Date: TODAY   From: THE BOSS   Subject: YOURSELF   Reference: LIFE   I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems....

A Story: A Waste of Time?

Your browser does not support the audio tag. A Christian wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have...

Bill Groggin's Goat

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Bill Groggins goat was feeling fine ate three red shirts right off the line. Bill took a stick gave him a whack and tied him to the rail road track. The whistle...

Do You Remember This?

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   (Under age 40? You won't understand.) You could hardly see for all the snow, Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go. Pull a chair up to the TV set, "Good Night,...

Funny Sayings Part 2!

Your browser does not support the audio tag. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.   Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.   On the other...

Funny Sayings Part 4

 Your browser does not support the audio tag.   Three things indicate you are getting old said the old, old man" first there is a loss of memory, and I can't recall the other two  One way of getting back on your feet is t...

I'm Fine

Your browser does not support the audio tag. There's nothing whatever the matter with me Arthritis I have in both of my knees And when I talk I speak with a wheeze My pulse is weak and my blood is thin But I'm awfully well...

My Get UP and Go Has Got Up and Went!

Your browser does not support the audio tag.        How do I know my youth has been spent  Well my get up and go has got up and went. But in spite of it all I'm able to grin, When I think of the...

Myths and Finances

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the...

New Store Bought Teeth

Your browser does not support the audio tag. by Ila Wood They feel like horse shoes in my mouth, I whistle on the "sss's" Wish they were in (you know where) I'll give you just three guesses. I try them out at breakfast...

Old Wives Tales

Your browser does not support the audio tag.          My folks were always coming up with all these sayings, whether or not they were true? Use your own judgment.   Momma always said Laugh before break...

Redneck Love Poem

Your browser does not support the audio tag.        Collards are green   my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flappin in the breeze....

Rules of Life

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't,...

Senior Citizens Lament

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Everything is farther then it used to be. It is twice as far to the corner and I notice a hill has been added I gave up running for the bus, it leaves sooner than it used to. They are making stairs steeper...

Seniors Alphabet

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Our new alphabet A for arthritis, B for bad back, C is for chest pains. Perhaps cardiac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight--can't read that...

Sign in Restaurant

Your browser does not support the audio tag.                       "Attention Patrons:                                 Knives, forks, spoons, ash trays and salt shakers are not medicine, so please don't take them after me...

So You Think Your Ugly

Your browser does not support the audio tag. For me ugleness is a way of life, I mean for me I was such an ugly baby that when I was born my mother recieved over a hundred sympathy cards. Two was from my father. In fact I came out so bad, the doctor...

That's Life

Sometimes it can feel like maintaining a healthy lifestyle is an overwhelming challenge that doesn’t fit within the realities of daily life. It’s tough to hold down a full-time job, eat well, train for a marathon, make homemade green juice, spend qua...

The Little House Out Back

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   by Dave Keacher Among my childhood memories, One thing I can't forget: That's the little house out back I seem to see it yet. Out there beyond the lilac bush It stood...

THINGS YOU DON'T HEAR ANYMORE - HEALTHY TIPS

It’s easy to get confused when it comes to health and nutrition. Even qualified experts often seem to hold opposing opinions. Yet, despite all the disagreements, a number of wellness tips are well supported by research. Here are some health a...

Wisdom from Senior Citizens

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   1. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.                                                             2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran? ...

A Sad Recipe

Your browser does not support the audio tag.     I didn't have potatos,   so I substituted rice.   I didn't have paprika,   so I used another spice.   I didn't have tomato sauce. ...

Amish Friendship Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   2 CUPS FLOUR 2 CUPS WARM MILK 1 PKG YEAST (2 TEASPOONS) 2 CUPS MILK 2 CUPS FLOUR 2 CUPS SUGAR DAY 1 : IN GLASS BOWL MIX FIRST 2 CUPS FLOUR, 2 CUPS WARM MILK AND YEAST....

Applesauce Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 1 1/4 cups applesauce 2 1/2 cups flour 1 1/4 cup sugar 2 eggs beaten 2 teaspoons baking soda 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 11/2 teaspoons cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4...

Apricot Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 1/2 cup chopped dried apricots   2 cups sifted flour   1/2 teaspoon salt   1/4 cup sugar   1 egg, well beaten   1/2 cup milk...

Banana Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Ingredients: 1 egg   1 cup sugar   1/4 /cup melted butter   3 very ripe banannas   1 1/2 cups flour   1 teaspoon   baking soda   dash s...

Beerocks - an old German meat filled bread dough

Your browser does not support the audio tag. BREAD DOUGH 2 pkgs. yeast ½ cup warm water to dissolve yeast 11/4 cups warm milk (add sugar salt and oleo) 2 tablespoons sugar ½ tablespoon salt 1 egg (beat egg, a...

Broccoli Casserole

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 1 package frozen chopped broccoli   1 cup regular long grain rice 1/2 cup chopped onion 1  small can mushrooms 1 can cream of mushroom soup 1 jar of cheese whiz (...

Cheese Ball

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 2-8oz pkgs of cream cheese 1/4 C Parmesan Cheese 1 Teas. Horseradish 1/3 C Chopped Black Olives 1/3 C Chopped Green Olives 2 pkgs. Budding dried beef 1 C chopped...

Cherry Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   1 egg 1 bottle (4 oz.) maraschino cherries, drained and chopped   1 cup sugar   2 tablespoons melted butter   3/4 cup buttermilk   2...

Chocolate Truffles

Your browser does not support the audio tag.    1/2 cup (1 stick butter ) 6 ounces of unsweetened chocolate   1/4 cup whipping cream   1 CUP CONFECTIONERS SUGAR   1/4 CUP FINELY CHOPPED PECANS   1/4  CU...

Cooking Ingredient Substitutions

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   FOR                                                                       USE 1 teaspoon baking powder                   1/3 teaspoon baking soda plus 1/2 teaspoon cream of tarter 1 Tabelspoon cornstarch   ...

Date Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   DATE  BREAD 1 CUP WHITE SUGAR 1 CUP BROWN SUGAR 1  CUP BUTTER OR SHORTENING 2 EGGS 4 CUPS FLOUR 2 CUPS BOILING WATER 2 TEASPOONS BAKING SODA 1 PKG CHOPPED DA...

Double Batch Chocolate Chip Cookies

Bake at 375* 8 to 10 minutes   5 Cups Flour   2 tsp. baking soda   1 tsp. salt   1 C Butter   1 C shortening   2 C Brown sugar packed   1 C white sugar...

Easy Fruit Salad

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 1 large container cool whip 1 large can mandarin oranges 1 large can pineapple chunks Drain All fruit green or red seedless grapes 2 pkg vanilla instant pudding mix dry pudding an...

Fast and Easy Peanut Butter Fudge

Your browser does not support the audio tag.                                                                                 1-18 oz jar of peanut butter (smooth or with nuts) 1-24 oz. pkg of almond bark In a large bowl melt a...

Jelly Roll

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 1/2 Cup flour 1/2 teaspoon baking powder dash salt 2 eggs 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 teaspoon vanilla 3/4 to 1 cup jelly   This recipe makes a small jelly roll.  ...

Orange Walnut Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 2 1/2 Cups flour 1 1/4 cup sugar   2 eggs beaten   2 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon baking soda   1/2 teaspoon...

Perfect Pie Crust

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   Ingredients: 1 cup flour   1/3 cup shortening   dash of salt   3 1/2 tablespoons cold water   Combine flour and shortening and ...

Perfect Pumpkin Pie

Your browser does not support the audio tag.                                        ...

Pine-scotch pudding

Your browser does not support the audio tag.     1 1/2 Cups flour   1/4 TEAS. SALT   2 TEAS. DOUBLE ACTING BAKING POWDER   4 EGGS    2 CUPS SUGAR    1 LARGE C...

Pistachio Pudding Cake

Your browser does not support the audio tag.     1 Duncan Hines White Cake mix 1 cup oil 1 cup 7-up 3 eggs 1 pkg. Pistachio pudding mix (instant) ½ cup English walnuts ½ cup coconut Mix first 5 ingredients on ...

Pumpkin Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   2 eggs 1 cup pumpkin   1 1/2 cups sugar   1/3 cup water   1/2 cup oil   1 teaspoon vanilla   1 3/4 cups flour   1/4...

Spiced Pecans

Facts You Should Know About Nutritional Guidelines     Following a nutrient-deficient diet can lead to health problems. Check this exipure review . Your understanding of nutrition can be your key to optimal health....

St Paul's rice (or sausage and rice casserole)

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 1 lb. Bird Farm sausage   2/3 cup regular rice 4 1/2 cups water 2 pkgs Lipton Chicken Noodle soup 1 large diced onion 1 cup diced celery 1 green pepper diced Brown...

Strawberry Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 3 cups flour 1 teaspoon each, baking powder baking soda cinnimon vanilla 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 cups sugar   ( if strawberries) sweetened use 1 ...

Sunny Marmalade Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 2 1/2 cups sifted flour  3 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup chopped nuts 1 cup milk 2 eggs beaten 1/2 cup orange marmalade 2 tablespoons ...

Tangerine Tea Bread

Your browser does not support the audio tag. 2 cups sifted flour  1 cup sugar 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 teasoon soda 3 tablespoons minced tangerine peel 1/2 cup chopped nuts 1 ...

Zucchini Pineapple Bread

Beat 3 eggs until blended and frothy. Add 1 cup oil 2 cups sugar and 2 tsp vanilla Beat until thick and creamy. Stir in: 2 cups coarsley shredded zucchini and 1 8 oz can of well drained crushed pineapple. Combine 3 cups flour,...

Tips & Tricks

Afghan Cross StitchingWhen cross stitching on an afghan, I use 2 ply yarn to do the cross stitching. It makes for less bulk. With so much excitement about learning to sew, improving skills and easy sewing projects, I thought it would be a good...

Count Your Blessings

Your browser does not support the audio tag. COUNTING MY BLESSINGS Today I sat and mused upon the grief and woe and misery And pain and strife and sorrow I thought that life had dealt to me. As I sat and wondered why such things had been These...

My Books

Your browser does not support the audio tag. My Books The night has fallen and I'm content To know the satisfaction of a day well spent I've spanned the ages with the books I've read I've loved, I've hated and I've been dead. I've cruised...

Original Poems

Your browser does not support the audio tag. The following poems were written by me for my daughter on her Birthdays .   THE SWEETEST BABE If God had said for me to choose The sweetest babe in heaven The one that had the nicest smile...

The Old Man

Your browser does not support the audio tag. THE OLD MAN Did you ever see an old man walking down the street With a dog at his heels and dust on his feet With a gleem in his eye  and a pole on his shoulder He gets a little wiser as he grows...

Thought For Today

Weight-Loss Tips That Actually Work (According to Science)     Most people who try to lose weight have good intentions. They start strong, but end up losing steam and any weight they may have lost comes...

Christian One Liners

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Cars are not the only thing recalled by their maker! He who angers you, controls you! - Always keep this one in mind! "Don't let your worries get the best of you, remember,...

Cooking Tips

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Here are some cooking tips I have learned over the years. I will keep adding to this page as I think of them . 1. When you are flouring meat, lay a piece of wax paper on your counter  add...

Craftingranny's No Diet Diet

Your browser does not support the audio tag. First off I want to state that in my opinion, the best diet is NO DIET!! After all it's not WHAT you eat it's how much, also using a natural appetite stimulant helps. Eat anything...

Crochet Daffynitions

Your browser does not support the audio tag.                                                                                                           Crochet...

Drink From The Saucer

Your browser does not support the audio tag. I've never made a fortune, and I'll never make one now, But it really doesn't matter 'cause I'm happy anyhow. As I go along my journey I'm reaping better than I've showed. I'm drinking...

God's Best Friend

Your browser does not support the audio tag.  A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school. However, when the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and made it all the ...

Grandma's Apron

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   Grandma's apron This is one special story and I remember it well, both my grandma and my mom!!!  Those are the "little" things we now miss with all the conveniences we have. ...

Health Question & Answer Session

Your browser does not support the audio tag. I DON'T KNOW WHAT DOCTOR WROTE THIS, BUT I LIKE HIM! HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise and pilates physical therapy can prolong...

In My Opinion

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   My Grandfather watched as his friends died in WW I... My Father watched as his friends died in WW II and Korea ... I watched as my friends died in Vietnam .... None ...

Lessons of the Heart

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   Love is not the latest ballad on the radio It is the song of a lifetime Love is not the rock on the finger of the girl you plan to marry It is the size of the boulder you move to ...

Life Get's Teejus, Don't It

Your browser does not support the audio tag. The sun comes up and the sun goes down And the hands on the clock go round and round  I just wake up and it's time to lay down, Life gets teejus, don't it. My shoe's untied, but, shucks, I don't ...

Mother's Bible

Your browser does not support the audio tag. Mother has left us, her life's work done. Only one thing leaving, to me, just one. It is her old Bible, all tattered and torn. Each page is wrinkled, soiled or worn. Its...

My Quilt

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   As I faced my maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles. An angel sat...

My Story

Your browser does not support the audio tag.                      I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me Phil 4:13   At the age of...

Reflections

Your browser does not support the audio tag. You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was a young girl/boy, just married and embarking on my...

In My Opinion

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   I just really, really hate the new oxygenated dish detergent. They try to make you believe that all those bubbles mean cleaner dishes,Not So!! when the bubbles die down all you are left...

My Family

      Tex and Toni Church Photo Of Me   Dom & Grandma   My Husband and Me   Wm. & Martha Payton my...

The Sweetist Great-Grandson This Side of Heaven

Your browser does not support the audio tag.

Senior Version of Jesus Loves Me

Your browser does not support the audio tag. While watching a little TV on Sunday instead of going to church, I watched a Church in Atlanta honoring one of its senior pastors who had been retired many years.  He was 92 at that time ...

She Knelt Beside Her Bed

Your browser does not support the audio tag. This is my dear Mother who has now gone to be with the Lord. This poem describes her perfectly. Thanks Betty for letting me borrow it. SHE KNELT BESIDE HER BED I'd like to paint the picture...

The Garden Beyond

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   The Garden Beyond I pictured a garden that I would create. A garden without a garden gate. I pictured a garden against a cottage, white A garden full of God's pure light. The...

The Rose Bud

Your browser does not support the audio tag. It is only a tiny rosebud A flower of God's design; But I cannot unfold the petals With these clumsy hands of mine. The secret of unfolding flowers Is not known to such as I. GOD opens...

What Is Love?

Your browser does not support the audio tag. A group of professional people posted this question to a group of 4 to 8 year olds: "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See w...

What Made Me, Me.

Your browser does not support the audio tag. WHAT MADE ME, ME Long ago and far away, In a land that time forgot, Before the days of Dylan, Or the dawn of Camelot. There lived a race of innocents, And they were you and me, Long...

Contact Me!

Your browser does not support the audio tag.   craftngranny@Comcast.net

Favorite Links

Your browser does not support the audio tag. www.facebook.com   Crochet Patterns - http://home.inreach.com/marthac/links.html for the best music ever - http://members.tripod.com/~rosemck1/ Free Patterns - http://www.freepatterns.com Greeting...

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