{"id":197,"date":"2012-04-05T19:30:44","date_gmt":"2012-04-05T19:30:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/?page_id=197"},"modified":"2014-05-06T17:14:43","modified_gmt":"2014-05-06T17:14:43","slug":"what-made-me-me","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/?page_id=197","title":{"rendered":"What Made Me, Me."},"content":{"rendered":"

\n
<\/div>\n
WHAT MADE ME, ME<\/p>\n

Long ago and far away,
\nIn a land that time forgot,
\nBefore the days of Dylan,
\nOr the dawn of Camelot.
\nThere lived a race of innocents,
\nAnd they were you and me,
\nLong ago and far away
\nIn the Land That Made Me, Me.<\/p>\n

Oh, there was truth and goodness
\nIn that land where we were born,
\nWhere navels were for oranges,
\nAnd Peyton Place was porn.
\nFor Ike was in the White House,
\nAnd Hoss was on TV,
\nAnd God was in His heaven
\nIn the Land That Made Me, Me.<\/p>\n

We learned to gut a muffler,
\nWe washed our hair at dawn,
\nWe spread our crinolines to dry
\nIn circles on the lawn.
\nAnd they could hear us coming
\nAll the way to Ten nessee,
\nAll starched and sprayed and rumbling
\nIn the Land That Made Me, Me.<\/p>\n

We longed for love and romance,
\nAnd waited for the prince,
\nAnd Eddie Fisher married Liz,
\nAnd no one’s seen him since.
\nWe danced to “Little Darlin'”,
\nAnd Sang to “Stagger Lee”
\nAnd cried for Buddy Holly
\nIn the Land That Made Me, Me.<\/p>\n

Only girls wore earrings then,
\nAnd three was one too many,
\nAnd only boys wore flat-top cuts,
\nExcept for Jean McKinney. (Who???)
\nAnd only in our wildest dreams
\nDid we expect to see
\nA boy named George, with Lipstick
\nIn the Land That Made Me, Me.<\/p>\n

We fell for Frankie Avalon,
\nAnnette was oh, so nice,
\nAnd when they made a movie,
\nThey never made it twice.
\nWe didn’t have a Star Trek Five,
\nOr Psycho Two and Three,
\nOr Rocky-Rambo Twenty
\nIn the Land That Made Me Me.<\/p>\n

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,
\nAnd Chester had a limp,
\nAnd Reagan was a Democrat
\nWhose co-star was a chimp.
\nWe had a Mr Wizard,
\nBut not a Mr T,
\nAnd Oprah couldn’t talk, yet
\nIn the Land That Made Me Me.<\/p>\n

We had our share of heroes,
\nWe never thought they’d go,
\nAt least not Bobby Darin,
\nOr Marilyn Monroe.
\nFor youth was still eternal,
\nAnd life was yet to be,
\nAnd Elvis was forever,
\nIn the Land That Made Me Me.<\/p>\n

We’d never seen the rock band
\nThat was Grateful to be Dead,
\nAnd Airplanes weren’t named Jefferson ,
\nAnd Zeppelins wer en’t Led.
\nAnd Beatles lived in gardens then,
\nAnd Monkees in a tree,
\nMadonna was a virgin
\nIn the Land That Made Me Me.<\/p>\n

We’d never heard of Microwaves,
\nOr telephones in cars,
\nAnd babies might be bottle-fed,
\nBut they weren’t grown in jars.
\nAnd pumping iron got wrinkles out,
\nAnd “gay” meant fancy-free,
\nAnd dorms were never coed
\nIn the Land That Made Me Me.<\/p>\n

We hadn’t seen enough of jets
\nTo talk about the lag,
\nAnd microchips were what was left at
\nThe bottom of the bag.
\nAnd Hardware was a box of nails,
\nAnd bytes came from a flea
\nAnd rocket ships were fiction
\nIn the Land That Made Me, Me.<\/p>\n

Buicks came with portholes,
\nAnd side show came with freaks
\nand bathing suits came big enough
\nTo cover both your cheeks.
\nAnd Coke came just in bottles,
\nAnd skirts came to the knee,
\nAnd Castro came to power
\nIn the Land That Made Me, Me.<\/p>\n

We had no Crest with Fluoride,
\nWe had no Hill Street Blues,
\nWe all wore superstructure bras
\nDesigned by Howard Hughes.
\nWe had no patterned pantyhose
\nOr Lipton herbal tea
\nOr prime-time ads for condoms
\nIn the Land That Made Me, Me.<\/p>\n

There were no golden arches,
\nNo Perrier to chill,
\nAnd fish were not called Wanda,
\nAnd cats were not called Bill.
\nAnd middle-aged was thirty-five
\nAnd old was forty-three,
\nAnd ancient were our parents
\nIn the Land That Made Me, Me.<\/p>\n

But all things have a season,
\nOr so we’ve heard them say,
\nAnd now instead of Maybelline
\nWe swear by Retin-A.
\nAnd they send us invitations
\nTo join AARP,
\nWe’ve come a long way, baby,
\nFrom the Land That Made Me, Me.<\/p>\n

So now we face a brave new world
\nIn slightly larger jeans,
\nAnd wonder why they’re using
\nSmaller print in magazines.
\nAnd we tell our children’s children
\nof the way it used to be,
\nLong ago, and far away
\nIn the Land That Made, Me!
\nMe.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your browser does not support the audio tag. WHAT MADE ME, ME Long ago and far away, In a land that time forgot, Before the days of Dylan, Or the dawn of Camelot. There lived a race of innocents, And they were you and me, Long ago and far away In the Land That Made […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":154,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-197","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P2leRo-3b","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=197"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/197\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2286,"href":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/197\/revisions\/2286"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}