{"id":634,"date":"2012-04-29T03:01:24","date_gmt":"2012-04-29T03:01:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/?page_id=634"},"modified":"2018-08-07T19:16:57","modified_gmt":"2018-08-07T19:16:57","slug":"redneck-love-poem","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/?page_id=634","title":{"rendered":"Redneck Love Poem"},"content":{"rendered":"

 \"\" <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Collards are green<\/span> <\/p>\n

my dog’s name is Blue <\/span><\/p>\n

and I’m so lucky <\/span><\/p>\n

to have a sweet thang like you. <\/span><\/p>\n

Yore hair is like cornsilk <\/span><\/p>\n

a-flappin in the breeze. <\/span><\/p>\n

Softer than Blue’s <\/span><\/p>\n

and without all them fleas. <\/span><\/p>\n

You move like the bass, <\/span><\/p>\n

which excite me in May. <\/span><\/p>\n

You ain’t got no scales <\/span><\/p>\n

but I luv you anyway. <\/span><\/p>\n

Yo’re as satisfy’n as okry <\/span><\/p>\n

jist a-fry’n in the pan. <\/span><\/p>\n

Yo’re as fragrant as “snuff” <\/span><\/p>\n

right out of the can. <\/span><\/p>\n

You have some’a yore teeth <\/span><\/p>\n

for which I am proud. <\/span><\/p>\n

I hold my head high <\/span><\/p>\n

when we’re in a crowd. <\/span><\/p>\n

On special occasions, <\/span><\/p>\n

when you shave under yore arms,<\/span><\/p>\n

well I’m in haug heaven<\/span><\/p>\n

and awed by yore charms. <\/span><\/p>\n

Still them fellers at work, <\/span><\/p>\n

they all want to know, <\/span><\/p>\n

what I did to deserve <\/span><\/p>\n

such a purdy, young doe. <\/span><\/p>\n

Like a good roll of duct tape <\/span><\/p>\n

yo’re there fer yore man, <\/span><\/p>\n

to patch up life’s troubles <\/span><\/p>\n

and fix what you can. <\/span><\/p>\n

Yo’re as cute as a Junebug <\/span><\/p>\n

a-buzzin’ overhead. <\/span><\/p>\n

You ain’t mean like those far ants <\/span><\/p>\n

I found in my bed. <\/span><\/p>\n

Cut from the best cloth <\/span><\/p>\n

like a plaid flannel shirt, <\/span><\/p>\n

you spark up my life <\/span><\/p>\n

more than a fresh load of dirt. <\/span><\/p>\n

When you hold me real tight <\/span><\/p>\n

like a padded gunrack, <\/span><\/p>\n

my life is complete. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ain’t nuttin’ I lack. <\/span><\/p>\n

Yore complexion, it’s perfection, <\/span><\/p>\n

like the best vinyl sidin’ <\/span><\/p>\n

despite all the years, <\/span><\/p>\n

yore age, it keeps hidin’. <\/span><\/p>\n

Me “n” you’s like a moon pie <\/span><\/p>\n

with a RC cold drank, <\/span><\/p>\n

we go togetherlike a skunk goes with stank. <\/span><\/p>\n

Some men, they buy chocolate <\/span><\/p>\n

for a Valentine’s Day, <\/span><\/p>\n

they git it at Wal-Mart, <\/span><\/p>\n

it’s romantic that way. <\/span><\/p>\n

Some men git roses <\/span><\/p>\n

on that special day <\/span><\/p>\n

for the cooler at Krogers, <\/span><\/p>\n

that’s impressive, I say. <\/span><\/p>\n

Some men buy fine diamonds <\/span><\/p>\n

from a flea market booth. <\/span><\/p>\n

“Diamonds are forever”, <\/span><\/p>\n

they explain, suave and couth. <\/span><\/p>\n

But for this man, honey, <\/span><\/p>\n

these won’t do.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cause you’re too special,<\/span><\/p>\n

you sweet thang you.<\/span><\/p>\n

I got you a gift,<\/span><\/p>\n

without taste nor odor,<\/span><\/p>\n

more useful than diamonds….<\/span><\/p>\n

IT’S A NEW TROLL’N MOTOR!!!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your browser does not support the audio tag.        Collards are green  my dog’s name is Blue and I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flappin in the breeze. Softer than Blue’s and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":244,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-634","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P2leRo-ae","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/634","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=634"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/634\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2875,"href":"https:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/634\/revisions\/2875"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/244"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.craftingranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}